I ordered some egg rolls and a large crab rangoon
I can't wait for the dumplings that should be here real soon
I eat Chinese food whenever I can
Cause I love when my farts smell like moo goo gai pan

My farting is really intense
The smells I release are immense
I know that it's gross
But when people draw close
My gas is my only defense

My friends keep their distance and we talk from afar
They have to take caution when my asshole's ajar
They'd rather be beaten, they'd rather be raped
Than to be near my ass when my gas has escaped
They're simply not able to deal with the stink
I'm like a squid and my farts are the ink

My underwear begins to streak
When my ass decides to speak
My anal glands swell and leak
With every fart I try to sneak
The problem is my sphincter's weak
And once again I'm up shit's creek