There once was a man named McAnus
Whose farts were both vile and heinous
But when he let one fly
We couldn't really deny
That his asshole sure did entertain us

I’ve had to fart real bad for a while
I know it ain’t pretty, but hell, it’s my style
I know that they're gross and some say that I’m vile
But when I choose to let one go, it causes me to smile

I sit on the bowl quite a lot
But I'm farting more often than not
I'm always bitching
That my asshole is itching
I should shit or just get off the pot

My farts were all smelly, this much I knew
But this one had substance, it felt like a poo
And so when I pushed, I did so with care
I wanted to fart, not shit on my chair
I tried to be cautious, but I must’ve misjudged it
Cause I looked at my chair, and I certainly fudged it
But you poop it, you scoop it, that is the rule
So I began cleaning the stool off my stool
But as I was cleaning, I felt one like before
The next thing I knew, I’d shat on the floor
I go get the mop before this all dries
And wouldn’t you know it, another surprise
So that’s why I tremble when my stomach growls
I control all my farting, just not my bowels

(To the tune of "Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones)

I see a toilet and I want to paint it brown
I sit down on it and then I begin to crown
I see the cardboard tube where the TP belong
I panic then I see my girlfriend's pink sarong

I wipe my ass with her clothes, now they're painted brown
I used her sarong her bathrobe and her night gown
I stand up and I feel fresh as a summer rain
I put my pants back on but here it comes again...

I shit inside my pants now they're all painted brown
I take them off again and have to sit back down
I look inside my shorts and see a wad of poop
I think I'll bring this up next week when I'm in group

I lean against the lid and the whole room is rank
I fart so forcefully I break the toilet tank
There's water everywhere it's filled with shit and blood
I've gone and pushed too hard and caused this fecal flood

I see a toilet and I'm gonna paint it brown
I sit down on it and then I begin to crown
I see the cardboard tube where the TP should be
I guess I have no choice, my hand's enough for me

Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
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I want to start to paint it
Paint it brown
Brown as ass
After gas
I wanna see the bowl
Painted with my brown eye
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted
Painted brown

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