(To the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)

Is this my rectum?
Nobody understands
Smells like a sewer
No escape from my anal glands

Look into my eyes
Butter up my thighs and flee...
I'm just a fat ass
I need no broccoli
Because I fart real fast
Fart real slow
Bend me down
There I go
This is how my wind blows deadly fecal splatters from me
From me

Mama, just killed a man
Pressed my ass against his head
Then I farted, now he's dead
Mama, I had just had lunch
And then I went and farted in his face
Mama, ooooh, didn't mean to let one fly
If I'm not feeling better by tomorrow
Run away, run away
From my deadly fecal splatters

Too late, another one
I can feel it in my gut
And it's heading for my butt
Goodbye everybody
My ass will blow
Gonna shoot from my behind a killer toot
Mama, ooooh, my farts are gonna fly
I sometimes wish I'd never broke wind at all

I see a deadly cloud of my fart remnants
Run away, run away
Or you'll smell just like my pants
Cramping and I'm farting
Very, very startling, see?
Oh, my asshole, Oh, my asshole
Oh, my asshole, Oh, my asshole
Oh, my asshole let one go
Magnifico-o-o-o

I'm just a fat fuck nobody loves me
He's just a fart face from a shit family
Spare us the smell that is so rectum-y
Farting fast, farting slow
Should I let one go?

Jesus Christ! No, you should not let one go!
Let one go!
Jesus Christ! You should not let one go!
Let one go!
Jesus Christ! You should not let one go!
Let one go!
Should not let one go!
Let one go!
Should not let one go!
Let one go!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh mama mia, mama mia
Oh mama, please don't let one go
The Taco Bell has burritos set aside for me
For me, for me!

So you think you can cork me, well give it a try
So you think you can stop me til my ass runs dry
Oh baby, can't do shit to me baby
Just gotta rip one,
Just gotta rip one from my rear

Deadly fecal splatters
Squirting out of me
Deadly fecal splatters
Deadly fecal splatters from me

Any way my wind blows...

I’ll always decide
To eat beans refried
I put ‘em away by the pound

After a plate
I just sit back and wait
For that beautiful sputtery sound

If I bend over just right
And use just enough might
I propel myself right off the ground

My asshole is really expressive
The farts I release are excessive
When my gases all frolic
My butt becomes Pollock
And the stains in my shorts are impressive