Before I'll be leaving
I'll ensure you're dry heaving
By expelling a stinker or two

It's my way of enlightening
I don't mean to be frightening
It's just something that I have to do

You tell me to cease it
And please don't release it
You even have threatened to sue

But there's no use in pleading
Cause I'll soon be excreting
A sample that smells just like a poo

Walking one night with my girl arm in arm
On our way back from Knott’s Berry Farm
When out from the shadows, a man slowly crept
And all of a sudden he lunged forth and leapt
“Give me your money,” he said with a snarl
But I knew what he needed – a steaming hot carl
We both turned around and started to run
When I farted so loudly that he dropped his gun
Then my girl farted right in his direction
The smell was so putrid I got an erection
The mugger fell down and begged us to stop
But we kept on farting til I felt a plop
"That oughta stop you and put you in your place"
I said to the mugger as I shat in his face
Next time he'll think before he sticks us up
It's like we were two girls and he was our cup