I'll tell you right now that I wanna take a dump
Just squeeze one right out from the bowels of my rump
I can fart to the left and I can fart to the right
With a good plate of beans I can fart all night
I can fart alone or fart with a friend
So quietly listen to the sounds from my rear end
It could sound like a splat or a quack from a duck
And if you don't like it, well I don't give a fuck
All I gotta do is fart a little more
Just a few more times til my asshole is sore
And that's what I do, just fart everyday
From the master of farting, the great Toots McA