Who denied it supplied it, or that's what they say
But what do I do about the fart I didn't lay
I'm Toots McAnus, so I know what they think
They all look at me every time there's a stink
This time I'm blameless, but how can I prove it
I have a bad rep and I need to remove it
But what good will that do, it won't change their mind
They're already disgusted by my big, fat behind
So I give in to the pressure and say it was me
I've long since abandoned my dignity
And so I've resigned, my shame is all gone
I've got too much pride, Toots McAnus lives on