(To the tune of "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton)

I will ready my ass to let out some gas - Methane
I will fart on your lap until your legs smell like crap - Methane
I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind...
Methane

You can run you can hide, Could not stop if I tried - Methane
There's not much you can do, the smell is gonna find you - Methane
I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind...
Methane

If you're thinking I'm done, here comes another one - Methane
If you're anywhere near, you're gonna hear from my rear - Methane
I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind...
Methane

I don't mind, my behind, is maligned...
Methane