There's something you should know and it's really kinda scary
I put on quite a show every time I have some dairy
A little milk when I awaken on my bowl of Special K
Starts my anus quakin and keeps me farting through the day
It really crossed my mind to refuse that piece of cheese
Since it causes my behind to release a noxious breeze
An ice cream cone or two and my insides start to bubble
And a cheddary fondue will surely give me trouble
Those little malted milk balls, you know I can't resist 'em
I just answer nature's calls when I put dairy in my system
I don't want no soy and I don't want Lactaid
Cause I really do enjoy when my farting is displayed