People say, 'Toots, oh won't you please train us
to mimic the noises that come from your anus"
All it takes is some heart, there's no training needed
Just stand up and fart, or if you stay seated
Move off to one side, let the gas eminate
and smile with pride at the farts you create
You don't need my help, just be a self starter
And that's all there is to become a great farter