(To the tune of "Theme from Gilligan's Island")

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of an almost shit
That started with some broccoli
And then I let one rip

The first was a silent, smelly one
The second loud and true
The nerves hit hard when the next one came
I thought I felt some poo, I thought I felt some poo

My stomach started feeling bad
That broccoli had a cost
I wish I owned a bidet
So my salad could be tossed, my salad could be tossed

I farted so hard I began to piss, on the bathroom tile
I feel ill again
I have to poo
I need some air
For my life
I pushed too hard
I profess I can
Crap like a man
I think I ruined the tile