I hadn't met another who could fart worse than me
Til I dogsat a puppy who was a fart devotee
This dog was a master, a soft coated wheaton
Who'd fart like a champ, despite what he'd eaten
He'd lift up his tail and let out the gas
Then turn around and start licking his ass
He'd fart through the night with his asshole exposed
It smelled like his stomach had just decomposed
I really admired his malodorous style
He'd let out a stinker and sit there and smile
This dog had a talent, a virtuoso rear end
And that's what it takes to be Toots's best friend
He'd fart while he'd eat and he'd fart while he'd pee
He's the first one I've met who could fart worse than me